“The man in charge of investigating the 2012 Secret Service prostitution scandal has quit after he himself was caught with a prostitute – which explains why President Obama just appointed an irony czar.” –Jimmy Fallon
“David Nieland, the man investigating the Secret Service prostitution scandal, wascaught with a prostitute. I don’t know what’s more surprising — that they caught him with a prostitute, or that the Secret Service actually caught someone.” –Jimmy Fallon
“Next month Joe Biden is scheduled to make stops in Turkey, Ukraine, and Morocco to discuss foreign policy issues — while his advisers are learning how to say ‘We’re sorry’ in all three languages.” –Jimmy Fallon
“The investigator who led the probe in the Secret Service prostitution scandal was caught with a prostitute. When cops found them together, he said, ‘Hey, I’minvestigating here.'” –Conan O’Brien
“Sources are saying Russia may have hacked into the White House Internet system. Theproblem was discovered this morning when suddenly Obama’s screen saver was a shirtless Vladimir Putin.” –Conan O’Brien
“I try to be level-headed when you have a problem like the Ebola outbreak. A couple of years ago there was what they call a pandemic. I called my doctor and I asked him what to do in the case of a pandemic. He said to make sure you sterilize your pan.” –David Letterman
“I want to settle everybody down. Let me put this in perspective for you. Yourchances of catching Ebola are the same as the Jets chances of making the play-offs.” –David Letterman
“The White House computers were hacked. They stole all of Michelle Obama’s secret kale recipes.” –David Letterman
“A candidate for governor in Arkansas has revealed he used to be a male stripper. The stripper-turned-candidate is encouraging everyone to head to the polls next Tuesday. And also to go out and vote.” –Craig Ferguson
“A man in a President Obama mask robbed a store recently. Police describe him as ‘armed and incapable of reforming immigration.'” –Craig Ferguson
“After the Obama mask robbery, someone in a Hillary Clinton mask came in and promised to clean up the mess he left behind.” –Craig Ferguson
“The government in Cuba is encouraging citizens to have more children because the country has the lowest number of newborns in Latin America. And nothing gets you in the mood like a direct order from Fidel Castro.” –Seth Meyers
Ebola Buddy by Mark Fiore
BOO! Scary Halloween stuff, well maybe amusing anyway, all treat, no tricks, we will leave those to the Puggers who are usually up to plenty of tricks anyway, boo hoo.
Don’t know why I bother with HuffPo.
Too Tabloid since they sold out.
Two concerts this pm; Athenia Chamber Ensemble, a woodwind trio from Ohio and then the remarkable Regan Siglan’s junior piano recital.
Alice was at both. 😄
Gunna rain tomorrow. Might make it hard for USC to hold onto the ball.
Big party @ Mimn. Much bigger than last night.
Snowfall in the Sierra, rained all day here.
Good. You certainly need it.
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