“Time magazine has named ‘Ebola Fighters’ the 2014 Person of the Year. The Ebola fighters said they were honored to be chosen and look forward to the ceremony. Then Time said, ‘Oh no, we’ll just mail them to you.'” –Jimmy Fallon
“Facebook revealed that Ebola was the most popular Facebook topic in the U.S. this year, with the World Cup coming in sixth. So welcome to America, where even Ebola is more popular than soccer.” –Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama was talking about the new report on CIA interrogation techniques and praised our country’s ability to quote, ‘face our imperfections, make changes, and do better.’ Which sounds less like a speech on torture and more like the comments on a kindergartner’s report card.” –Jimmy Fallon
“Jeb Bush’s brother Neil said that their mother has ‘come around’ to the idea of Jeb running for president in 2016. Because if there’s anything that says you’re qualified to be president, it’s your own mom saying, ‘I guess you could do it.'” –Jimmy Fallon
“Time magazine announced its person of the year. It’s health workers who treat Ebola. That’s a person of the year. Time magazine told the health workers, ‘No need to pick up your award, we’ll mail it to you.'” –Conan O’Brien
“A woman on a Southwest Airlines flight gave birth to a baby. As soon as he was born, the baby said, ‘I had more leg room in the womb.'” –Conan O’Brien
“The new CIA torture report is 6 million pages long. It’s almost as long as a George Clooney pre-nup.” –David Letterman
“Congress goes on recess starting tomorrow night. By the way, that’s all you need to know about Congress. They get recess. A bunch of middle-aged adults get three weeks off to play kickball?” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Time magazine named their person of the year today. It was not a member of Congress.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“This year, the person — it’s persons, and those persons are the Ebola fighters. The people who were on the front lines, working to keep Ebola contained. I think it’s a very good choice. Congratulations, guys. I’d love to shake your hands, but you know…” –Jimmy Kimmel
“This will be the first time an acceptance speech has included the phrase, ‘We couldn’t have done it without Ebola.'” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Time magazine has named Ebola healthcare workers as their person of the year. The Ebola workers were very excited when Time magazine gave them the news – via Skype.” –Seth Meyers
“Today Malala Yousafzai and Kailash Satyarthi received the Nobel Peace Prize. And they’re giving an honorable mention to whoever has to announce them.”–Seth Meyers
Cheney’s Torture Anthem
Rain gone till next week. No damage here but trees down in places.
Bad riders in budget bill.
Raining mice & snails now.
No weather here, just cold and sunless.
A tractor finally started tilling the cornfield behind us. Good. I hate how after they harvest the corn the busted stalks are jutting out of the ground. Once, years ago, Langdon and Izzy took off chasing a cat across the field to the church, when they came back Izzy had some blood on her. Got scratched from the bamboo-like, sharp stalks. Quincy is always on a leash so he won’t get to do that but I don’t like it anyway and am glad they worked the field over today.
More crap coming our way in their “omnibus bill.” They’re arguing over things they stuffed into the bill, one thing that guts another provision of Dodd-Frank. Some of the Dems don’t know what they plan to do. Really? You don’t know what you plan to do? VOTE NO!. Duckworth is one of ’em. As if our Carl Levin.
One more step toward turning our government over to the banks and BIG BIZNEZ and away from our control, P-L-U-T-O-C-R-A-C-Y : People-Lose-Under-Theocratic-Oppression-Causes-Real-Angry-Citizens-Yelling. Then we go to stalags for disposal.
Whew, and here I thought it was the Soylent Green factory.
Bravo Tom Coburn for staying true to the un-American POS spectacle I’ve always seen you as. So long, miss you already.
I always wondered why no one up to now has created a Asshole of the Year Award Ceremony.
Looks to be a big turnout if anyone in the mediaplex would venture that way, wide open territory for the picking, ‘Asshole Land, the Undiscovered Territory’ followed by numerous sequels and spinoffs. and a finale Award Ceremony, appropriate alphabetical characters disguised for the kiddies of course.
Ignorance is strength.
Sounds like a winner then!
Calling all BIG PRODUCERS, we got one for ya, outing assholes, start with FOX Nooz.
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