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About Den

Always in search of interesting things to post. Armed with knowledge and dangerous with the ladies.
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14 Responses to frEYEdae funEEze

  1. Den says:

    Nothing funny here to report this AM
    Smoke, smoke, smoke everywhere even in Auburn.

  2. Den says:

    Some funny here:

    I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.

    Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

    I changed my password to “incorrect” so whenever I forget it the computer will say, “Your password is incorrect.”

    Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

    I’m great at multi-tasking–I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

    If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

    Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don’t care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.

    Doesn’t expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?

    Take my advice — I’m not using it.

    I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.

    Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they’re at home when you wish they were.

    Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

    I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it’s been doing is gathering dust.

    Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.

    I’ll bet you $4,567 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.

    Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

    If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

    A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

    Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

    There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.

    Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

    Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

    He who laughs last thinks slowest.

    Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

    Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.

    I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

    Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

    The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.

    I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.

    I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn’t find it.

    If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

    Money is the root of all wealth.

    No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

  3. David B. Benson says:

    One chore done this 83 °F day…

  4. Den says:

    A cold snap here! Dropped to 90! Fire still blazing here, at least the winds are low.

  5. David B. Benson says:

    TVD route in 46 minutes. A robin, two Western Tanagers, a magpie, a Swainson’s hawk in a tree, lots of little birds with dun folded wings, grey breast and brown head, many flying insect catchers, two flocks of small birds which would fly further down the chain link fence as I approached, over and over.

  6. David B. Benson says:

    @ the Nuevo Vallarta for tacos de pescado y Negra Modelo again. Across the street in the grocery store parking lot the fireworks tent is up, stocked with city approved fireworks, and open for business. No customers when I was looking.

  7. Den says:

    Mandatory evacuation turned to voluntary, going back home tomorrow, yay!

  8. Den says:

    Fishy cat

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