Tribulation Thursday


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has requested that Jesus Christ rapture him up before the special counsel Robert Mueller can indict him, a source close to Pence confirmed on Friday.

Shortly after the former national-security adviser Michael Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the F.B.I., Pence contacted Jesus to discuss the early rapture proposal, the source said.

The source characterized Pence’s request to be raptured up as “urgent” but did not indicate whether the Vice-President asked Jesus to rapture up any other senior Administration officials.

“Some of these people will have to be left behind, for obvious reasons,” the source said. “Jared, for example.”

After the news of Pence’s conversation with Jesus leaked to the press, the Vice-President released an official statement, intended to tamp down speculation about his rapture request.

Andy Borowitz @ THE NEW YORKER

About Den

Always in search of interesting things to post. Armed with knowledge and dangerous with the ladies.
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13 Responses to Tribulation Thursday

  1. Den says:

    The forgotten psychopath grabs for a life preserver to save his rotten hypocritical ass.


  2. °¿º Carol says:

    Still cold, about the same temperature as usual, and I see it’s the same temp in Bellingham and Pullman.

    Still no snow, just the eternal flurries that, thankfully, are not accumulating.


  3. °¿º Carol says:

    CONGRATULATIONS TO MICHIGAN! Today, Marijuana became legal. I’ll toke to that!!!

    Now, to justice departments around the state, LET MY PEOPLE GO! Let ’em out of the pokey!


  4. °¿º Carol says:

    George H.W., his funeral has been going on for weeks now. I bet it’s killing ole Trump to be kicked off the news.


  5. David B. Benson says:

    First 47 minutes the shortest way to the optometrist’s office to pick up my new reading glasses. Then back to the Birch & Barley makes a 53 minute running total.

    New glasses provide sharp focus!


  6. Micki says:

    jimhitchcock says:
    December 5, 2018 at 8:37 PM
    it was 23°

    Practically balmy.

    Early morning temp this a.m. even balmier…but not by much… 22.6º F

    I really don’t mind these temps with the bright sunshine as a plus! 😉


  7. Micki says:

    Oh, how I wish Pence would be “ruptured up” — Trump is vile (same letters as evil), but Pence is putridly nauseating!

    If Trump bails out before 2020 (or impeachable offenses are uncovered, House impeaches, and Senate convicts (fat chance!), can you imagine Pence and Nikki Haley as the GOP ticket. If the economy is decent at that time, I wouldn’t bet against them winning.


  8. David B. Benson says:

    More on the End Permian event:

    The ‘great dying’: rapid warming caused largest extinction event ever, report says
    Oliver Milman
    2018 Dec 06
    The Guardian


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